Apply now to be my valentine
Pros include:
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No one else wants to be your valentine so why not?
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I have 24 years of experience in pretending other people are funny so I'll laugh at your joke
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My ideal date includes seeing the Sonic the Hedgehog movie and then going to Taco Bell
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I might tweet about it in the future
Cons include:
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I will literally only talk to you on February 14th (could be a pro?)
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I will drink more Baja Blast than you
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Literally everything else
Apply now! Applications close on February 14th.